Dec 30 2008
Afraid of Being Alone in the Dark?
Hello dark passengers. What can I say? Y’all have been talking to me so today’s Talk to Me Tuesday subject comes to us directly from reader questions. See…I told you I was listening!
Laura : “I am deathly afraid of sleeping alone in the dark. I feel as though I have given energy to an idea of an entity to it’s ultimate frutition. Any advice on conquering what I only hope is a psychosis?”
Star : “What about feeling things? Like having a sense of something being there?”
Ladies, I’m going to go out on a limb and say this is way more common than anyone wants to admit. I’ve experienced both of the things of which you write firsthand. I’ve known what it’s like to feel as though you’re losing your mind just because the lights are out.
But there’s good news! Unless you actually believe your house to be haunted then this is totally in your mind. Every time hubby would go out of town on business I used to leave on the light just outside my bedroom or the master bathroom light. (Even worse was leaving the television on mute while I attempted sleep.) I’m happy to report that I conquered this while he was away for an extended period of time.
Here are my tips:
- Check things out. For your own peace of mind, inspect the usual suspects. Look under the bed, in the closet and make sure the doors/windows are locked. This will help you to know the Boogie Man isn’t waiting for lights out.
- Cut out the horror. If you know you’re going to be alone at night and you have an active imagination, why would you read that new Stephen King novel or watch the late night horror flick? Use common sense on that one.
- Kill the creaks and groans. Houses and apartment buildings are known for settling in some of the most unsettling ways. Try playing some soft, soothing music while you’re falling asleep so you won’t be so jumpy over ever little thing. I recommend the Vitamin String Quartet for this.
- Face your fears. At some point, you need to identify what it is that’s freaking you out about being alone in the night. Stop hiding under the covers from it and deal with the root issue head on. Once you’ve cut off your fear at the source, you’ll find less goes bump in the night at bedtime.
As for that feeling that someone is watching you, I don’t know. Maybe the mind is conjuring that feeling because - on a subconscious level - being watched is what you fear. Or maybe you’ve got a guardian angel watching over your dreams. Or maybe there’s a fly on the wall who’s interested in your nocturnal habits. Who knows?
Have you ever tried simply saying, “I know you’re there and I’m not in the mood for this tonight. You may go now” and then ignoring it? Chances are, just the act of empowering yourself will help make the heebie-jeebies hit the road.
Were these tips at all useful? Let me know. Ooh…and if you’ve got any fear-busting tips of your own, send ‘em in. Talk to me, peeps!
Jen
“Let your dark passenger come out to play…Be your own nemesis!”
There is a Turkish saying: Torture me, even kill me just don’t put fear in my soul.. Good advice. I believe there is a rational explanation for every mystery that confronts us. Yet my childhood I had a period when I was unexplainable afraid of the dark. Not afraid before that coupe lf months, not after that but only during that scary period. The fear went away by itself. Ii guess I got more confident. But I still can’t froget the experience.
Wow what an unusual blog you have. I really like the way you write it is very creative and almost narrative. I used to be scared of the dark, but my faith in God helps cast aside all the fears I had.
Good tips! I’ve actually had dreams where I felt like something was in my room and I was telling it “no” and to “go away”. Maybe I should tell it before I fall asleep
Then again I wouldn’t want to chase a guardian angel away!
That really is some good advice, Alex. Thanks for sharing it.
Do you remember what was going on during those few months to trigger the fear?
Jen
Hmm…Is that unusual good or unusual bad there, Mickie?
Thanks. I try to keep things creative and fresh…it doesn’t always work, but I try.
It’s good your faith helps you through that. I wish I could say mine helped me, but for whatever reason, it almost seemed to make it worse for a while there. Hard to explain, I guess.
Jen
Star, with as much as I was at your house, I would have told you if there was something there. Your house is clear. If something is in your room then it would have to be your guardian angel…or you husband trying to pull a prank on you.
Hi Patricia. Thanks for speaking up. Until yesterday, it’s been quiet around here.
Did you do anything in particular to conquer the fear or did it just fade away on its own?
Jen
thanks for your wonderful suggestions, Jen - I find doing the sweep of the house is best done during the daylight, if possible, getting everything all locked up nice and tight - curtains drawn - exterior lights on. I find coming home at night to a dark house is NOT optimal, so if I know that I’ll be home late I try and have a well-lit house to come home to…also, great advice to simply say: I’m not int he mood for this! Or go away! - but do tell your angels and guides that they can stay : ) hey, that rhymed.
Don’t worry. My angels and guides know I’ll specifically tell them to go away if I need additional quiet. And I wouldn’t take the same tone with them anyway.
I know it’s not the most fun idea, Natalie, but have you thought about doing your sweep of the house at night? While it isn’t optimal, it does train you to have less of a flight response. Eventually, you just don’t feel the same level of fear in the dark as you used to. Not all the time, at least.