Your Dark Passenger

You take a moment out of hectic day to realize how blessed your are for all you have.  It would devastate you to lose even a piece of it.  Wait.  What would you do if something happened to change things?  Without warning, you imagine what it would be like to lose everything you love.  That’s when the cold claw of fear finds it’s way down your spine.  What if everything in your life was taken from you and you had to become a bag lady on the street, destitute and dying alone?

Fear Week continues.

Why Do We Fear Dying Alone?

You have everything - the adoring family, the perfect job, a life envied by others - but what would it take to bring it all crashing down around you?  Getting called into your boss’s office to find out about job cuts?  A phone call from the doctor with devastating news?  Finding out your business partner has been less than honest with their accounting practices and your business is gone?  Suddenly where to vacation takes a back seat to wondering if you’ll end up dying alone.

I’ll go ahead and admit I have this fear on a regular basis for no real reason.  I’ve often wondered if it’s a “woman thing” to worry about this because hubby doesn’t seem all that concerned about it.  As soon as there’s any sort of financial snag in the fabric of our life, my mind begins to spiral out of control.  It starts with me wondering if a bill will be paid on time and morphs into the mortgage going into foreclosure.  Suddenly, I’m living in a cardboard box on the street.  The next thing I know, I’m begging for a change in alley and dying of, I don’t know, being cold and alone.  It doesn’t have to make sense.

That’s not really the point of fear, is it?

Last night, we opened Fear Week by discussing Primal Fear and how it was something within our DNA rather than a learned behavior.  I believe the fear of dying alone is the same thing.  It’s not as though this is a learned behavior.  I don’t personally know people who missed one credit card payment and magically ended up dying alone in a cardboard box on the street.  Yet I fear this, all the way down to the very depths of my being.

Honestly, I think it’s part of the human psyche to crave the company and compassion of others.  People are made to be with other people - but don’t get me wrong, I do love my quiet times.  Perhaps what we’re really discovering during Fear Week is that the major fears we have aren’t learned behaviors and they don’t make us crazy; we’re born with them.  They’re in our blood.

Hmm…Did that make you feel any better?  Me either.  Understanding the root of my fear does very little to help me overcome it.  It’s still there.  The bag lady within is still whispering in the back of brain how she’ll see me soon.  (Creepy much?  I know.)

Don’t forget to check out No Fear Week over on The Stiletto Philosopher this week as I discuss how to beat these fears into submission, much as I did the spider I discussed last night.  Tonight I’ll be discussing how to overcome the fear of dying alone.

Jen

“Let your dark passenger come out to play…Be your own nemesis!”

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