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Feb 09 2009

What Not To Do On Valentine’s Day

Published by Dark Passenger at 9:08 pm under Mental Madness Edit This

Holy crap!  How did the matrix get me?  There is no spoon…There is no spoon! ;)

If you’re keeping track of the happenings over on The Stiletto Philosopher then you’ve already read the Valentine’s Day Survival Guide for single peeps.  What you won’t know from reading that post are the 7 Things You Should Never Do on Valentine’s Day…but probably will anyway.  (Intrigued much?  Don’t lie.  You know you are.)

Let’s face it, even the best of us are still only human - not in that Agent Smith Matrix I’m gonna kill you sort of way - but you get the picture.  The point is that given the opportunity to do something stupid or something smart, we’re probably going to take the foolish option.

7 Things You Shouldn’t Do on Valentine’s Day…

…but probably will anyway.

  • Do recon on your ex’s new squeeze.  Maybe you get your friends to do the research for you, but the point is you can’t help finding out everything about the one who replaced you…
  • Get drunk and make Valentine’s Day cookies.  Can you say tears in the dough?
  • Sprinkle the ex’s bed with rose petals and wait.  Seriously, did putting on sexy lingerie and waiting in his bed ever work outside of the movies?  Best case, he comes home drunk and alone.  Worst case…erm, he’s not.
  • Have a chick flick fest with Ben & Jerry.  Wouldn’t it be easier to just skip Pilate’s for a week?  Same effect but with fewer tears and far less cholesterol.
  • Drunk dialing.  This is never a great plan, but there’s something extra sad about it on Valentine’s Day, don’tcha think?
  • Valentine’s Day Bonfire. Don’t act all innocent on me now.  This is where you burn all the crap your ex ever gave you…and nearly burn down your apartment in the process.
  • Blind dating.  Okay, does this ever work the rest of the year?  Okay…then why would it work on Valentine’s Day?

So, even though I know you won’t be following my advice, at least I’ve said it so my work here is technically done.  But do me a favor…proceed with caution on that Valentine’s Day bonfire, okay?  We’ve got six more weeks of winter so now is not the time to be accidentally-stupidly homeless. ;)

Jen

“Let your dark passenger come out to play…Be your own nemesis!”

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9 Responses to “What Not To Do On Valentine’s Day”

  1. starjk7on 10 Feb 2009 at 4:56 am edit this

    Yes! We cannot have tears in the cookie dough :D That’s more important than buring down the apartment :) To me it would be anyways!

  2. chameleonsdreamon 10 Feb 2009 at 1:11 pm edit this

    Congratulations on your Today.com award, Jen! Woohoo! You really ARE that good.

  3. jenwhittenon 10 Feb 2009 at 3:25 pm edit this

    Star - Well, I guess you could always just leave the salt out of the batter if you’re going to season with tears. :P But yeah…save the cookies at all costs!

    Chameleonsdream - Thanks. It was definitely unexpected. I wouldn’t have even known if you hadn’t said something on the other site about it. :)

  4. starjk7on 10 Feb 2009 at 4:33 pm edit this

    Hey, what award did ya win?

  5. jenwhittenon 11 Feb 2009 at 3:37 am edit this

    It was a recognition award from Today.com (the host for the blog) I came in 3rd so…I guess that means I’m 3rd most awesome? :P

  6. starjk7on 11 Feb 2009 at 12:08 pm edit this

    I bet it’s only because your kinda new :) Or they suck…one or the other :D

  7. jenwhittenon 11 Feb 2009 at 4:21 pm edit this

    That’s your answer for everything, isn’t it? If peeps don’t like me then they suck…Nice theory though. ;)

  8. starjk7on 11 Feb 2009 at 5:36 pm edit this

    I know…I like to simplify things :D

  9. jenwhittenon 11 Feb 2009 at 5:37 pm edit this

    Nothing wrong with that! :)

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