Your Dark Passenger

Let’s skip the intro, shall we?  By now, you should already know what’s up with our 400 year old vampire virgin, Gus.  If you missed part 4 over the Stiletto Philosopher then you’ve missed Gus’s phone call to Scarlett so you might want to get on that.

A Phone Rings in HELL

Thursday, February 12th

11:52pm

He should have left his phone number.  He knew that.  He’d planned on that.  He’d even planned on getting the machine instead of Scarlett.

What he hadn’t planned on was forgetting everything he’d planned to say…

Or getting cut off by the fucking thing…

At first, Gus was just too flustered call back after that, but as more and more time went on he started to panic.  This woman was gorgeous.  Why would she agree to go out with him?  After 400 years of not being able to check out how he looked in the mirror he couldn’t remember what he looked like anymore.  Even if he’d been considered handsome by 1608 standards, would that apply today?  Probably not.

Maybe Scarlett had’t heard the message yet.  Visa was open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week so maybe she was working a strange shift.  That gave him hope.  He could break into her house and delete the message before she heard him ramble on.  Perfect!

Gus reveled in his brilliance for the fraction of the second it took him to remember she’d have to either be home to invite him in or dead.  And if she were dead then what was the point in deleting the message?

Though it was most likely an exercise in futility, he took a look at what movies would be showing the following day since he’d already decided seeing a movie would be less awkward than going to dinner.  Ooh…if things went bad at the movie then he could always make her dinner…

“Stop it,” he ordered himself.  “You’re not going to eat this one.”

With thoughts like those running through his head, it was no wonder why he was still a virgin after all these many years.  He was too shy to ask many girls for dates and when he did, Gus usually ate them before they could go out.  Patience and restraint didn’t seem to be his best pals in death un-death.

He forced himself to stop thinking along those lines.  Even if Scarlett did go out with him and he was able to stop himself from eating her, she probably wasn’t going to sleep with him.  Sure, she’d been more aggressive than the women he was used to, but considering the women he was used to were from the 1600’s primarily, well…times had changed.

Probably.

Back to the movies.  It looked like three were opening on Friday: a chick flick and two slasher movies.  My Bloody Valentine had a nice ring to it, but Gus doubted it would be about eating his valentine so it was most likely plotless.  The other one had a little potential, but he ran the risk of getting hungry and snacking on Scarlett during a slasher movie.  Best to avoid that.

Why was he even still planning this date?  He hadn’t talked to her today to make the plans and he probably wouldn’t be able to get in touch with her tomorrow in time to go out.  He should just put her out of his mind and chalk it up to yet another bad experience.

But Gus couldn’t get Scarlett out of his mind.  Or he didn’t want to.  That was problem.

He felt like he knew her.  He felt like she was someone he’d known and liked.  That was ridiculous.  He wasn’t able to get to know people these days.  And he certainly didn’t like most of the people he met.  One time, during his brief stint in New York, he’d visited a so-called vampire club in hopes of finding more vampires who might understand what it was like for him.  Instead, he’d only found a bunch of losers with perfectly gelled hair, wearing all black clothes, drinking clamato from stupid-looking chalices.  When he asked the bartender for a glass of blood, he was told to get the fuck out before the police were called because they didn’t serve blood there.

No blood?  Were they fucking retarded?  What kind of vampire bar wouldn’t serve blood?

It seemed to Gus as though people got dumber with each passing century.  Another few years of this and he’d probably have to walk into a ray of sunshine to end his suffering.  The last person he remembered liking as a person was just before he’d been turned.  From time to time he wondered what had ever become of her.

Obviously, she died hundreds of years ago, but…yeah  He wondered about her life before she died.

The shrill whine of the phone echoing  in the marble vestibule pulled his attention from the reverie.  A glance at the clock revealed it was just after midnight.  Who would be calling HELL at this time of the night?

Weird.

~~Moral of the story:  Uh…don’t date your food on an empty stomach?

Sorry if this seems a little scattered, but I’m way scattered.  We’ve got a severe storm rolling thru at the moment and the electrical energy in the air always pumps me up and distracts me.

Jen

“Let your dark passenger come out to play…Be your own nemesis!”

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