Your Dark Passenger

I know this is out of sequence with the 13 Days of Love that needs to finish up today, but I had to tell you about this movie.  Have you seen Embrace of the Vampire?  This is a first for me.  I was planning to hit the sack at 3 this morning, but then I was in the middle of something and in need of background noise.

Lo and behold, there it was, waiting for me on HBO.

Before I tell you about what I think of it so far, let me give you the DVR description:

An innocent collegian must choose between her boyfriend and a nighttime visitor.  Sci-Fi/Horror (1995)

Now I’m going to give you my synopsis so we can see how well the reality lines up with the intent.

Jen says:

Comedy/Wannabe porno (1995)  Alyssa Milano stars in the story of how a coed’s virginity is stalked by a vampire, a lesbian and her devoted boyfriend of the last 14 months.  Milano starts out playing the innocent and then switches to the dirty girl while her vampire stalker-lover licks blood off the door to her dorm after a particularly useless murder.  In the end, it’s a story of her choice between her goody-goody boyfriend and the vampire baddie.  Who will she choose?

I don’t know.  I’m not at the end of the movie yet, but it appears the fate of the world rests between her legs as it will all be decided by who wins her virginity.  Still not sure which side would win if she got it on with the lesbian down the hall.  Maybe that didn’t matter.

There seems to be a slight disconnect between the movie’s intention and what actually showed up on the screen.  It’s still a pretty good movie if you take it for what it is and not what it tries to be.  As the movie nears its conclusion, I find myself left with these lingering questions:

1. Did Alyssa Milano have a boob job after this movie because I really thought she was bustier in Charmed?  Or maybe she just wore a really great bra in Charmed that pumped up her volume.
2. After the evil vampire tells you the Ankh necklace was from him and you seem to have these really weird visions of him each times it glows toxic blue, um…wouldn’t you take it off and look harder for the Cross necklace your boyfriend gave you?
3. How did she not notice her only friend was missing?  Self-absorbed much?
4. Why have I never heard of Embrace of the Vampire before?  I was alive and watching movies in 1995.  I was into  vampires in 1995.  How did I miss this?
5. Why am I not familiar with the vampire myth in which the vampire must take the virginity and sire the innocent chick by her 18th birthday in order to not perish?  Did I just miss the obvious myth there or is Hollywood playing fast and loose with the realm of vampires - again?

So here’s my final assessment…It’s a fun movie and I would have laughed quite a bit more than the makers probably intended if I hadn’t been trying not to wake up hubby.  I’m going to say it’s worth adding to your collection if any of the following apply to you:

• You’re into cheesy “horror” movies,
• You’re into movies where Alyssa Milano provides the T&A or
• You’re a collector of vampire movies

If any of the above have you saying, “yes, please” then the link at the top of the post will help you add Embrace of the Vampire to your DVD collection.  And if that wasn’t you, well…be on the lookout on HBO in the middle of the night for a repeat of it because you’ve still got to see it for the fun factor, even if it’s not going to find it’s way to your movie shelf.

Of course, you might have to wait another 14 years for it to come on so I hope you’re patient.

Jen

“Let your dark passenger come out to play…Be your own nemesis!”

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