Mar 26 2009
Demonic Possession by Computer
Welcome back, dark passengers. Since we’ve been spending the last few days on Your Dark Passenger reviewing paranormal basics, I thought it was time to give you something really juicy to sink those fangs teeth into. But let’s see…what could we talk about? Ooh…
Are you possessed by a demonic presence?
Guess what? If you’re reading this on a computer then you just might be!
Of course, before I explain to you just what in tarnation I mean by that, I’m going to back up and talk a bit about demon oppression vs demon possession. Trust me, it’s an important distinction - especially since my research indicates just about all of us are coping with one of these. (You’ll understand why I say that by the time you’ve read this post in its entirety. I’ve taken the information from multiple sources and I promise I’ve not made any of it up.)
Demon Oppression
This is when demonic forces or entities are bugging or harassing you. A person suffering from demon oppression might have their behavior influenced by the oppressing demon. They may also feel an unnatural “weight”pressing down on them either mentally or spiritually.
If you’re being oppressed by a demonic force then you might experience any of the following:
- Irrational fear or phobia
- Anxiety
- Depression not caused by a physical ailment
- Violent behavior
- Hatred
- Ambition (Damned if you do…)
- Lack of goals (…damned if you don’t)
- “Inability to detect contradictions” (Guess the peeps who came up with this list are demon oppressed)
- Issues with those in authority
Okay…If you’re like me then you’ve already identified with at least one of those. Guess what? It’s your own fault that demons are harassing you. Here’s what you may have done to cause it:
- Sex with the oppressed or possessed (Bet you didn’t know you needed to use a demon condom, huh?)
- Playing with the Ouija board
- Trying to contact aliens or UFO hunting
- Reading Sci-Fi
- Watching soap operas
- Taking part in any religion besides Christianity
- Pornography - either viewing or being in it
- Having low self-esteem
- Being friends with someone demon oppressed or possessed
- Drug or alcohol abuse
- Meditating for any non-Christian purposes (Are you starting to get the idea of who seems to run all the sites on which I was researching?)
- Interest in the occult or paranormal (Boo-yah! That’s all of you, biotches, because you’re on my paranormal site…Crap, it’s me too…for writing it)
- Wearing or owning charms or tools of the occult or satanism
- Being jealous
- Being stubborn
- Being rebellious
- Chanting
Sorry…I’ve now lost the will to continue typing all the ways I’ve apparently invited harassment. Let’s move on.
Demon Possession
This is when demonic forces actually take possession of your body. Demon oppression may take place before the actual possession. Basically, y’all, this pretty much sucks since the demons inhabit your body and you don’t get to be in control anymore. I’m NOT going to recommend this as good fun on a Friday night.
An individual being possessed by a demon might exhibit any of the following:
- Extreme strength
- Crazy high IQ
- Screaming obscenities for no reason (No, it doesn’t count when it happens after some cotton brain cuts you off in traffic)
- Being incapable of accepting simple spiritual truths
- Obscene or sexually explicit comments about God or Jesus
- Not liking the mention of Jesus; negative comments about the sacrifice at the cross
- Psychic or paranormal abilities (Crap. I’m screwed, y’all.)
- Lack of restraint
- Sexual promiscuity
- Extreme depressive symptoms
- Suicide attempts or self-harm
- Multiple personalities who carry on conversations with one another
And just like demon oppression, it’s all your fault if you get possessed by a demonic force because you actually invited it into your life by:
- Taking tests to determine paranormal abilities
- Reading your horoscope or having an astrological chart made
- Seeing a fortune teller or psychic
- “Gross sexual immorality” (I think that must be when you don’t shower before sex…)
- Being mad at God
- Having family members who are into the occult
- Seeking paranormal abilities (Guess that means the thousands of peeps looking for a vampire to turn them into vampires are screwed…but so are the vampires, I guess)
Well…yeah. Show of hands: How many of us are either demon oppressed or demon possessed based on this information? Be honest.
Oh, I probably should have mentioned that there’s a disagreement currently going on about whether a Christian can actually be possessed or not. Some believe that’s one of the “perks” of the faith. You know…besides the not having to burn in Hell thing, of course.
And before you fire of the comment to let me know I’m a crazy Christian, please keep in mind that I didn’t make up or say I necessarily agree with any of the information provided here. I did a little bit of research. This is the consensus of the majority of the sites out there. But if you feel strongly about any of this - or you think it’s all a load of crap - then let me know…
What does any of this have to do with your computer? Apparently, demons and evil spirits can inhabit our computers, just waiting to pounce on us whenever we turn on the evil demon box. But don’t freak out. If you have your hard drive wiped clean by the Geek Squad or whatever and have them install fresh software then that will exorcise the computer demons.
Bet you didn’t know that all computer technicians moonlight as exorcists, huh? Sort of gives a whole new meaning to “ghost in the machine.”
Once you’ve had your computers exorcised and blessed - try not to fry your keyboard with the Holy water! - make sure you come back tomorrow because I found a gem of a paranormal conspiracy theory that I can’t wait to share!
Jen
“Let your dark passenger come out to play…Be your own nemesis!”
Well, I do have my moments when humor seems to be my friend, don’t I?
Buahahahahaaa! Those Christian sites have it bass-ackwards! I am the demon that posesses my computer!
(Yes, this would be my vote for “it’s all a load of crap”)
What’s even funnier (or not to some, I guess
) is what the websites about “other side” have to say about demons
Just as ridiculous, only the flip side of the same coin
>:-)
I know that my computer isn’t possessed. It’s a Mac.
Still, and I know this will sound odd after all the jocularity, I feel there are definitely times I’m being oppressed by something not-too-happy… not a demon, per se, but some spirit or spirits who want me to do something I simply won’t do. Pushy people, I guess you’d call it. I’ve woken up in the middle of the night to face them, to tell them to f*** off (I actually said that to them once).
I am probably crazy, but if I am I’m in good company. Several of my family members get the same visits. I’ve even seen people walking up to my house at times when I glance out the window, only to look out a second time and see no one. Most of my visitor, however, are entirely benevolent.
I think, right now, my father must be here, or someone come on his behalf. He died two years ago, and we had barely spoken in 15 years.
Sorry to go all serious on you. I will try to mellow out!
Thorne- I like that. I think I possess my computer too!
Kspace- Hmm…Do they basically say about demons what we tend to say about angels? (I’ve never been over to the other side, for long anyway.)
Shakespeare- No worries about the seriousness. I’m actually all for that, I just try to keep the heavy subjects light when I write about them to keep things on an even kilter, you know?
But I’ve been there. Hell, I’m the chick whose mood controls street lights and traffic signals so I’d be the last person to say anything about someone feeling oppressed by a spirit of some kind. Actually, I’ve been there myself. They like to flick my hair to keep me awake some nights. I can handle being tormented by them - whoever “they” are, but once they started messing with hubby was when I’d had enough and ordered them the hell out of my house. Shock of shocks…it worked.
Dorothy- Are you talking about the Ouija board? I’ve messed with it as well and I’m still alive and well. Ooh…maybe I’m not really me. Maybe I’m an evil spirit that’s taken over some nice, normal lady’s body. Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa!!!!!!!!!
I know, right? I don’t burst into flames when I walk into churches so I guess I don’t have to worry about my possession just yet.
OMG Is it possible to be possessed and oppressed because I’ve had all the symptoms. Not to mention the fact that Tarot reading was taught to me by my Grandmother and I’ve done everything on that not to do list.. Oh man, I’m so fuct!!! LOL!!
Yep. Totally possible.
Take the list with a grain of salt though. Some of it, I’m sure, is religious propaganda put out to keep us all on the straight and narrow.
Hey..I believe this is all true. I mean here’s a little story… Okay so.. These few times, I went to Walgreens with my friends.. I felt like I wanted to get something, but didn’t really want it. And just then, I felt like I blacked out. Then after a while, I was standing outside, with my friends telling me to wake up. And I asked them what had happened.. And they said “Look into your backpack…?” I took a look in it, and I found a LOT of candy in there.. Then I quickly looked in my wallet, and I still had everything in there. I said “Seriously. What the f*ck happened..? Where’d I get all this candy from?” My friends said “You don’t remember? F*cken stupid ass. I tried to stop you, but you f*cken hit me and told me to f*ck off.” Then I replied “No I didn’t… I felt like I blacked out……” Then that’s when i started getting suspicious.
Well…that might be about the time I got suspicious as well…
What did you end up doing with all the what I will presume to be stolen candy?