Your Dark Passenger

Happy weekend, dark passengers. I’ve been spending a lot of time lately wondering about whether you can ever escape your own psychic abilities. That must seem like an odd statement coming from someone who’s actively attempted to hone her gifts. I think it’s natural.

Personally, I find it exhausting to know how things are going to happen, how people feel, etc.

And I’m sick of hearing the TV when it’s on mute. It’s annoying.

For my part, I’ve put some serious effort into blocking things out. When I commuted into an office each day, it wasn’t just good etiquette to block out the emotions from my coworkers, it was a necessity.

Anyway. After a while of diligent shielding, I stopped getting impressions from people. With the exception of my husband (who I’ve never effectively been able to block for very long), there was silence. Wonderful silence. I was an Empath who didn’t have to feel other people’s emotions anymore. It was a dream come true.

But like all dreams, it didn’t last. It couldn’t.

Once I went back to working from home, I didn’t see the need in shielding techniques. What was the point? To block out my cats? (Which actually isn’t a bad idea since Sydney Cat projects her emotions like, well, a projector.)

It came at me in waves. First, I noticed a headache after a trip to the grocery store. I was a little edgy at a doctor’s appointment, not because I was seeing a doctor, but because of all the people in the waiting room who were freaked out about this or that. It hit me again yesterday at the grocery store. (I needed apple crumble ingredients.) People kept talking to me.

Let me back up. No one talks to me in public. No one.  A key part to my shielding made me basically invisible. Okay, I’m not crazy. I know people could still see me because I wasn’t actually translucent. It’s more that I used to be able to weave my way through crowds without getting nudged and people never looked at me or through me…It was just a peaceful sense of not being there.

Did that make any sense?

But when I was at the store, I couldn’t get through the crowds in the aisles - and it was a Thursday night so, seriously? There was a crowd? While I waited to get to the last item on my list, a woman stopped me to ask me if I know how to make goulash. What the what? One, she shouldn’t have even noticed me, but more importantly, what about my appearance makes someone think I know a goulash recipe off the top of my head? Braised chicken with peppers, hearty chili, pork roast, southwestern pot roast, chocolate candy…sure. I can rattle those off no problem. But goulash?

Yeah…that’d be a negative.

So what do I do? I ask her what specifically she’s trying to make, find out about her new slow cooker and give her my super un-secret chili recipe. I ended up talking to two more people on the way to the register about who knows what.

Even worse than, ugh, being friendly to strangers…I was reading every person in that store. Woman in front of me in line? Pissed off, stressed out and worried about rent. Woman with the goulash question? Nervous about cooking for her boyfriend and a little lost.

*shakes head* So much for escaping my psychic “gifits”, huh?

What about you? Have you ever tried to suppress your psychic abilities? How’d that work out for you?

Jen

“Let your dark passenger come out to play…Be your own nemesis!”

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