Unfortunately, it’s time to discuss comments…again.

All comments on this site go through moderation.

Do I like doing it? No. Does it waste a ton of time? Yep. Can I go back to letting comments go straight through again? I wish.

Here’s the deal: It doesn’t matter if you’ve left one comment or 100 comments, it’s being reviewed first because of the bad apples who couldn’t play nice with everyone else.

This means you will not see your comment once you hit submit, but a message telling you your comment is awaiting moderation. That doesn’t mean to spam the comment system with a dozen duplicate posts. I approve comments at three times a week, but I’m not going to drop everything and sign in seconds after you leave your comment just to approve it. Truly, I wish I could because I enjoy the conversations that come from the comments, but I simply don’t have the time.

Vampire comments

Let me say this again…I will not “turn” anyone into a vampire. If you don’t understand why, you clearly have not read the information on this site (or any legitimate vampire site, for that matter) that clearly explains why this is not possible.

I will not tell you if you’re a vampire. No one can do that for you. If I met someone in person, yeah, I’d know if they were a vamp or not, but I still wouldn’t tell them. Vampirism is, essentially, your last ditch diagnosis, not the fad of the week to adopt. The information on symptoms and such has been provided for you. Consider it and look within. To thine own self be true.

If you want to go suck blood…awesome. Have at it, but screaming it in comments serves no purpose in the conversation…unless I asked what you really wanted to do, or something to that effect.

Hmm…Now wasn’t that a bright and shiny post of positive energy…

Jen

“Let your dark passenger come out to play…Be your own nemesis!”

Why am I even thinking about this, you may wonder. Well, I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been bombarded with movie trailers on television and internet ads about movie. I get it. New Moon opens Friday. I’ll be at the midnight premiere playing chaperone to two screaming teenage vampire fangirls.

But the Twilight fans alone can’t make Bella’s character any saner. I should have noticed it when I read the first book, but the full depth of her mental illness didn’t dawn on me (no pun intended) until after I read Breaking Dawn. (more…)

First, I’m taking my sister to see the new Twilight movie “New Moon” on Thursday night…well, technically it’s Friday morning, but I don’t go to bed before midnight so it’ll be my Thursday. I’ve been meaning to get back to the vampire site, so you can look for more my movie review and impression of all the wild fans at the premiere on Friday…or still my Thursday since I’ll do it before I go to bed.

But, seriously y’all, if chick spends the bulk of the movie crying about missing Edward…there’s a good chance I’m falling asleep. I’m just sayin’…

So, anyway, hubby’s been home most of the week with a semi-flu and it made me think back to about a month ago when I was last home sick…before I started working at home again. Here’s a random fact about me: When I’m sick, I watch cooking shows on the Food Network. All day. All night. No reason…I just like to pretend I’ll learn how to cook as a result. So far, I can make a rue (sp?) and an apple crumble. Progress, I suppose.

That got me thinking about cooking shows in general. Everyone is so composed and experienced. It’s nothing like when us normal peeps get in the kitchen and suddenly our “simple syrup” is all over the stove and floor refusing to come up. I think we need a normal person running a cooking show. Put someone with a basic to moderate skill level - like me - in front of the camera and give her a recipe she’s never seen before. Maybe she’s got the right the equipment or maybe she has to figure out how to make double boiler out of pots and bowls like the rest of us do. Let all the normal people watch someone totally screw up a recipe the way we would at home the first time we see. Only then should you bring in the experienced chef to offer advice on what was done wrong and how to manage tricky techniques.

So, for your enjoyment, here’s a little creation from the back of my head: “How to run a real cooking show”

1. Welcome the audience and show a picture from the cookbook of the complicated recipe
2. Tell a little story about your childhood as it semi-relates to the recipe while you gather ingredients
3. Realize nothing is thawed out and cut to commercial while 8 hours of thawing time pass
4. Welcome everyone back and get out the necessary cookware
5. Realize hubby didn’t run the dishwasher like he was supposed to and take another commercial break
6. Demonstrate the proper way to chop vegetables while yelling over the noise of the dishwasher
7. Cut your finger and bite your lip to avoid screaming obscenities at your cutting board
8. Let the oil heat in the pan while you tell more stories and unload the dishes
9. Add the garlic to infuse in the oil
10. Jump five feet when the oil pops at your arm
11. Wonder what’s burning and realize the heat is set too high
12. Dump out the burnt garlic and start over on the correct setting
13. Demonstrate how to use kitchen shears to cut chicken into stir fry strips
14. Throw the shears in the sink when you realize they’re as dull as your kids safety scissors
15. Try your kids safety scissors and swear under your breath when they work better than kitchen shears
16. Pretend to be happy when hubby comes home and asks if dinner’s ready
17. Realize you burnt the garlic. Again.
18. Start the oil and garlic yet again
19. Go to add the chopped veggies and realize hubby ate them while he was pretending to straighten up the kitchen
20. Slam the cookbook closed
21. Order pizza
22. Thank your viewers for tuning in and invite them to tune in next time when you’ll make some other impossible dish…or order Chinese take out

And that, dark passengers, is the way a real life cooking show would go.

So, what would your cooking show be like? Do you do anything unusual when you’re sick? Going to see “New Moon?” Want to tell me I’m a crazy person? Lots of commenting options today.

Jen

“Let your dark passenger come out to play…Be your own nemesis!”

What’s gonna happen, y’all? Any peeps with better developed psychic gifts than mine care to share what you “know” with the rest of the class?

Wait…that’s more of a side note than the point. I was just reading a post over at Merry Meet where Tara shared a personal experience. You can read the details over there, but she mentions the year 2005 in relation to 2012.

Can it really just be a coincidence that what happened to her was 7 years before the big whatever? (more…)

Halloween is nearly upon us, dark passengers, but we still have time to plan for a bit of fun - even if we don’t have time to make the perfect costume or plan a killer party. Without further ado, I give you the official rules for the Paranormal Halloween Costume Drinking Game!

In case anyone is unfamiliar with how a drinking game works, I have to ask…Why are you reading this?

Ghosts:

Anytime you see someone in a ghost costume, you have consume a clear liquid…because ghosts are translucent.

• Kid wearing a white sheet - Do 2 shots to make his costume scarier
• Kid wearing a costume not like a sheet - Do 1 shot because the kid tried
• Kid wearing a scary ghost face costume from Scream or Scary Movie - Do 1 shot but add a shot of grenadine to it first because this is a slasher movie ghost!

Zombies:

Whenever you see a kid at the door dressed like a zombie, get out the beer because zombies are classic, run of the mill ghouls.

• Chug your beer for 10 seconds whenever a zombie comes to the door. It doesn’t matter what kind because they’re all the same.

Werewolves

Break out the mixed drinks my friend because these paranormal creatures are half human and half wolf. You’ll also need cayenne pepper, cinnamon or paprika on hand.

• Take 1 giant gulp of your mixed drink when a werewolf shows up at your door.
• If anyone shows up dressed like one of the wolf pack from New Moon (You know, the new Twilight movie?), you have to add a pinch of one of the spices to your drink. Why? That series basically bastardized werewolf lore so you have to taint your drink. Fair warning: You’ll probably see a lot of these so be prepared for an interesting drink.

Vampires

Get ready to get plastered on Halloween night because everyone and their dog is going to dress up like a vampire. For this, you need a “fashionable” drink like martinis, cosmos, bellinis, etc. You also need a bottle of hot sauce that has a shaker top.

• Take 2 big sips whenever you see a vampire
• Take 3 big sips if they have on an awesome vampire cape
• Down your drink if they have someone following them around with a wooden stake
• If a Twilight vampire shows up at your door, shake 1 drop of hot sauce directly on your tongue and take ONLY one sip of your drink

Special Bonus Character

If any girl shows up at your door dressed as Bella from Twilight on Halloween night, you must follow the rules for both Twilight vampires and the Twilight wolf pack because we all know Bella goes both ways.

Also, if anyone shows up at your door in costume who looks old enough to drive - besides parent and older sibling chaperones- throw a piece of candy at their forehead and slam the door. Drink whatever you’re supposed to for that costume, but do it twice because teenagers count as two kids.

Have fun drinking handing out candy!

Let me know if anyone’s left standing after this one…

Jen

“Let your dark passenger come out to play…Be your own nemesis!”